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Archive for Busking

ShuttleLOUNGE on tha Loose!

So Bootz turned 40.

Doesn’t look a day over 29, right?  Must be the bovine estrogen she’s been mainlining for a decade… no, wait… um…  Ok – maybe it’s the Blue Hawaiians.  Either way – she wanted a performance & to drink.  So I thought we’d put on a show.  I linked up with the Real Talk of Baltimore, PinPoint, and got to work organizing a show.  This was back in oh… November?  I was thinking we could get a DJ, Pin could do his joint maybe we add another local draw to the mix & the ShuttleLOUNGE hops on at sometime to embarrass themselves and anyone else around.  I contacted Dave Daniels, plays his organ in church, to be added character “Dave”  – the bit would be him repeating “Dave’s not here, man” to every interaction.  Not funny, I know.  That’s how it works.

We almost pulled it off, the big show.  We just couldn’t find a location that would let us waltz in and tackle a whole night.  Well, that’s not exactly true – but I didn’t have the 2 grand it would take to reserve the “Jam Band” venue.  We literally spent 3 months trying to nail a place.  I called in almost every favor I could think of.   After everything she’s been through, Bootz certainly deserved a night off, and a celebration!!!

I let it go as long as I could but finally I had to come up with something else.  So – back to Busking it was.  For years the ShuttleLOUNGE would terrorize local events in Miamuh by showing up and getting down to it!   An early performance was on top of a pool table at Good Ol’ Churchills.  …. while another band was playing onstage.  I think I out-drew them. We challenged each other plenty in those days.    Bootz’ B-day was reminiscent of those early attacks!

We arrived in Fells Point at a respectable drinking hour, after putting the chiblings down for the night.  (Thanks Mom!!).  I dropped off the ladies at the first joint which was a hippy hollow, it turns out.  Couldn’t stay there, no sir.  I went off to park the car by the river.  Only 5 bucks, but half a mile away!  I changed into my ‘costume’; sprayed my hair pink & orange, wore some Tap-Out douche couture and a lame lattice smoker, accessorized with lays, plastic clunk diamond bracelet and a dog chain.  Started my walk through a crowded but freezing populace across Fells Point, guitar strapped to my back and boombox in hand.

Post & Collegiate yups cast downward gaze and shuffled to avoid my path.  An adroit gentleman (read: drunk biker) spotted me and exclaimed, “I wanna see YOUR show”!  “Did you hire a stripper?” I answered to anyone within earshot.  This became my catch phrase as I wandered towards the yup bar where the folks ended up.  I got carded at that place.  I looked at the guy:  Are you serious?  Then I remembered I wasn’t grey – I was pink.  Makes sense.  “You’re still younger than me” the door fella stated.  Touche.  I returned to the mantra.  Someone finally called out “YES”.  “Well, where IS she?!!!”  I win.   Hard to get a decent Blue Hawaiian in Balmer.  Go figure.  Clam Martinis are … appropriate and taste like sea scum.   The couple standing next to us was discussing absolutely filthy sexual positions.  There’s still a debate as to whether they were a ‘progressive Browidian couple’ or she was working.  I’m betting the latter.

Finally we made it to a suitable destination – John Steven, Ltd.  Since their juke is all teh internetsded up, we could spin Bootz friendly tunes all night (more INTERPOL than you can shake a night stick at).  There was a table just our size (perfectly sized group & great company, all!!) and even fit tha geetar – which i have yet to name – and boombox.  We started the rounds and since we were doin’ so well, the bartender asked if I was going to play some music – I told him it wasn’t really music, I was going to sing for my wife.  He said that was cool for him.  Money.

It’s getting close to closing time and Bootz is starting to wane.  She’s a trooper, really.  I started w/ some ol’ favorites –
Warsaw & Obstacle in Blue Hawaiian – ode to Broward, really, but converted to Balmer.  Bootz stole the show at that point.

[youtube http://youtu.be/3OpaiuKMaQ0]

Then introduced two new entries, the first of which shocked everyone and the bar started to clear out.  It was a cover of Adele that was entirely about Anal Secks gone bad.  Revolting.  And they did.  Everyone was yelling at me to stop.  Again, I win.  My final piece was a cover of DJ Earworm’s 2011 mashup “World Go Boom”.  I even cut tracks on my new keyboard (thx again Mom & Dad!).  Before the end of that monstrosity, Bootz was smacking the boombox trying to stop the torture.

Thankfully – for the patrons anyway, PinPoint to the rescue!  He presented an amazingly deft and poignant treatise on relationships that added an underserved credulity to the night’s proceedings.  Kudos, sir!  Check us out below – and HIM out HERE

[youtube http://youtu.be/vIE3e4Hs8M8]

Well, like I said, we pretty much ran the joint empty.  It was closing time anyway.   I wander back to get tha hooptie (I think I can call it that by this time), double park out front and enter in to find Bootz crashed all classic Dik Shuttle stylee on a bench at the front of the bar.  Tap on the shoulder, c’mon babe – let’s make it out.  WAIT!  pulls her hair back…. aaaand there it is.  The whole night dancing off the slate floor – technicolor party.  Used.

I offer the barkeep some extra scratch for his trouble.  No worries, mate.  He’s turned 21 before – lmmfao.

Happy Birthday Bootz!  from the Fabulous ShuttleLOUNGE.  PO Box Fells Point.

Credit:  Thanks to everyone for a great party  and Special Thanks to Diane for the media!!